


Learning to Love

by PeachChapstick



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Declarations Of Love, Emotionally Repressed, High School, Internalized Homophobia, Love, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26451868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachChapstick/pseuds/PeachChapstick
Summary: Bucky knows that Steve is way too good for him, especially because he's incapable of love. But for Steve, he wants to learn.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Learning to Love

Bucky never understood why Steve thought so highly of him. He was average at pretty much everything. He got Bs in school, he was nice to his friends but not really anyone else, he wasn’t ugly but also not pretty, and he definitely wouldn’t consider himself an overall good person. Steve, on the other hand, got straight As, was nice to everyone, was gorgeous, and was just a great guy. Steve made Bucky look awful. It made sense that Bucky was in love with Steve. But it didn’t make sense that Steve was in love with Bucky.

There needed to be a distinction made between Bucky being in love with Steve and Bucky loving Steve. Bucky didn’t think he was capable of love. He really was not a very good person. He wasn’t close with anyone other than Steve, he was rude to people who weren’t his friends, and he acted mainly in the interest of himself and Steve. He didn’t think he was capable of loving anyone. 

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted, walking over to his locker after school.

Bucky gave him a weak smile and continued packing his bag. “Hi.”

“Do you wanna come over tonight?” Steve asked. “My parents aren’t home so we could, like, exist in the living room or kitchen instead of my bedroom.” 

“Sorry, I can’t tonight. Homework,” Bucky said, grabbing his bag and shutting his locker.

Steve’s face fell and he blushed. Someone as great as him wasn’t used to being rejected. Bucky wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings, it just didn’t feel right.

It was obvious that Steve was too good for Bucky. He had absolutely no idea why Steve was so persistent about dating him. Compared to Steve, Bucky was absolutely terrible. And if they were dating, people would constantly compare them and then they’d realize it. He was good at hiding it when he wasn’t constantly being compared to someone perfect. 

“We could do homework together at my place,” Steve suggested. 

“We don’t have the same classes this year, that just wouldn’t make sense,” Bucky said, turning away to walk out to his car.

Steve gently grabbed his arm and turned him so they were facing each other. “Buck, I feel like ever since I started trying to transition this relationship from a friendship into something romantic you haven’t wanted to be around me. If you don’t want to date me, you can say it.”

Bucky hesitated. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date Steve, he really did. Steve was everything he wanted. He just knew Steve could do better. 

“I just don’t know what you want from me. I’m not this amazing person that you think I am,” Bucky stated.

Steve gave him a look of immense pity. “Buck, you are amazing. I don’t know why you can’t see that. You’re perfect: I couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

“If I was even half as good as you think I am, I would date you,” Bucky enthused. “You could do so much better than me.”

Bucky shook his arm out of Steve’s grip and walked out to his car before the conversation could progress. He didn’t want Steve to tell him things he knew to be false. Soon Steve would accept that they were better off as just friends and find a boyfriend ten times better than Bucky could ever be. Someone capable of love.

Bucky was making snickerdoodles in his kitchen when a knock came on his front door. He didn’t know who to expect, but wasn’t surprised when he opened the door to see Steve’s smiling face.

“You didn’t think I’d give up that easily, did you?” Steve questioned.

He moved past Bucky and into his living room. “It smells good in here. Cinnamon?”

“Yeah, I’m making snickerdoodles,” Bucky said. “Take one if you want.”

Steve took a big bite of a cookie and smiled at him. “Wow, Buck. These are so good. You make the best cookies. Well, maybe not better than my mom. She makes great everything.”

Bucky wished he was capable of love, not just being in love. He wanted to love Steve more than he wanted to do anything else. And the look in Steve’s eye showed him that he already loved him. Not dating him would break his heart, it would prove to everyone that he was incapable of love. 

He watched Steve eat the rest of the cookie, mainly focusing on his lips. God, they were perfectly colored and shaped. And definitely soft, Steve was always applying Burt’s Bees. It was one of the perfect features on his face. He didn’t have enough strength to refrain from kissing him.

Steve leaned into the kiss and set his hands on Bucky’s hips. It was obvious he had been waiting to do this for a long time. His lips were just as soft as Bucky had expected and he tasted like the snickerdoodle he had just eaten.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” Bucky said.

“So have I. I wish you could see what makes you so special, Buck. You really are perfect,” Steve said.

“Compared to you I’m awful,” Bucky stated.

“That’s so not true. I’m gonna do my best to show you why I waited for you for so long. Why I love you. Because I love you, Buck,” Steve said, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Bucky blushed. “You love me?”

“I love you.”

It was that moment that Bucky realized Steve was going to teach him how to love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sorry that it isn't very long or very good, but it was a little idea that I just really wanted to get out. Please consider reading my chaptered fic if you found this remotely interesting. Thank you for all the support.


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